It ain’t about you.

I find it funny how people want to be all up in someone else’s business. There are men giving out hateful cards on trains and subways to women they feel are too fat. There are people who say a mom breastfeeding her baby is offensive. There are people are are quick to judge others because of any number of random things that aren’t any of their business.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, I do take issue with the hypocrisy and just plain narcissism that most people express in regards to their fellow human beings especially when it comes to pregnant women.

Recently, I heard from a (newly pregnant) friend how she is being treated at work. She is unmarried but this baby is wanted, I believe, as she is nearing 40 and sees this as her last chance at kids. Some of her coworkers are saying she doesn’t even deserve to have a baby or be pregnant if she won’t quit smoking…nevermind the fact that she is and has cut down her smoking a great deal (these things are usually never cold turkey). I was just flabbergasted at the gall of these people. It isn’t about them and it isn’t any of their business.

Someone on my FB feed posted a meme promoting anti-choice slogans saying a women should have made a better choices before conceiving. You know, a lot of women in that situation didn’t have that first choice.

It’s these things that burn my biscuits the most. Why is a baby so important ONLY when it is in utero? Why do these people, who are bent on shaming women, only concerned for the UNborn babies?

Here is my thoughts on it.

It isn’t about the babies at all. It is about putting women in their place. Why do I think this way? Because these same people are quick to “punish” the women when the babies are born. They are quick to cut social programs to support women that have babies. They are quick to let a man off the hook for abuse of said babies because he was a “good man”. They are quick to look the other way when abuse happens because “she never should have had kids anyway” or “it’s her fault for being with him.

What about the babies? The kids? Do you not realize that while you are so fucking focused on making sure that woman is punished for not being what you think she should be, the kids are the ones suffering?

I give you this last thought.

When you support a woman fully to have her baby instead of an abortion, then offer her just as much support-monetary and emotional support-after the baby is born then you can have an opinion.

When you put the “good man” in prison for raping the child instead of letting him go free to rape other children-then you can have an opinion.

When you offer free childcare to the single mother so she can feel like she actually can be a mom right now-then you can have an opinion.

When you stop judging and start helping, when you stop punishing and start supporting…

When you really REALLY put the child first and put their best interests ahead of your own fucked up biases…then maybe you might be allowed an opinion.

Until then, it ain’t about you.

It doesn’t involve you.

It’s none of your business.

You are part of the problem, not the solution.


/end rant




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