So, I have written before about how I don’t believe that you should forgive your parents (or any other family member for that matter) for anything done to you when you were a kid JUST BECAUSE they are your parents. I also said I didn’t believe that you owe your parents anything for THEIR choice of bringing you into the world. I really don’t believe that blood is thicker than water.
When I read an article yesterday about a little 5yo girl whose mother was selling the girl for sex…this scenario popped into my head. The girl’s father said that he raised her for years before deciding to let her mother take care of her. He didn’t go into detail about the exact whys of it, only that after he saw the mother get a stable job and place to live he thought to let her have a shot at raising her.
I don’t blame the father. He is suffering a great deal right now, I am sure, knowing that his little girl is dead. Maybe the mother asked him to let her raise the girl. Maybe he, like a great deal of the world, believe that a child is better off with the mother. Or maybe, like my dad, he felt that it was her mother and she needed to be with her (my dad is always telling me “it’s your momma” when I tell him I don’t talk to her anymore). Maybe others told him the girl’s mother should be the one raising her, not him. Who knows. What I do know, is that the mother no way deserved that little girl and in no way deserved the trust to take care of her.
I often wonder, when the line is drawn for things like this. If this little girl had survived, in 30 years would people be telling her to forgive her mother because “it is your mother”. Would people have told her that she needed to take care of her mother if she was ill and/or bedridden, even though she sold her daughter into sexual slavery at the age of 5? Would people have looked down on her for possible not wanting anything to do with her mother?
Why would any other abuse no matter how “minor” be any different? Where is the line between abuse and neglect that is acceptable and abuse and neglect that isn’t?
Bless this little girl’s soul now, for her torment has finally ended. We will never know if she would have forgiven her mother of her own accord or if she was pressured to do it…of it she cut off all ties. The blessing here is that she won’t be raped anymore and used by a useless woman for monetary gains. Her suffering has ended, which may be for the best in the long run.
Rest in Peace little one.