Is Blood Thicker?

So, I have written before about how I don’t believe that you should forgive your parents (or any other family member for that matter) for anything done to you when you were a kid JUST BECAUSE they are your parents.  I also said I didn’t believe that you owe your parents anything for THEIR choice of bringing you into the world.  I really don’t believe that blood is thicker than water.

When I read an article yesterday about a little 5yo girl whose mother was selling the girl for sex…this scenario popped into my head.  The girl’s father said that he raised her for years before deciding to let her mother take care of her.  He didn’t go into detail about the exact whys of it, only that after he saw the mother get a stable job and place to live he thought to let her have a shot at raising her.

And now the little girl is dead.

I don’t blame the father.  He is suffering a great deal right now, I am sure, knowing that his little girl is dead.  Maybe the mother asked him to let her raise the girl.  Maybe he, like a great deal of the world, believe that a child is better off with the mother.  Or maybe, like my dad, he felt that it was her mother and she needed to be with her (my dad is always telling me “it’s your momma” when I tell him I don’t talk to her anymore).  Maybe others told him the girl’s mother should be the one raising her, not him.  Who knows.  What I do know, is that the mother no way deserved that little girl and in no way deserved the trust to take care of her.

I often wonder, when the line is drawn for things like this.  If this little girl had survived, in 30 years would people be telling her to forgive her mother because “it is your mother”.  Would people have told her that she needed to take care of her mother if she was ill and/or bedridden, even though she sold her daughter into sexual slavery at the age of 5?  Would people have looked down on her for possible not wanting anything to do with her mother?

Why would any other abuse no matter how “minor” be any different?  Where is the line between abuse and neglect that is acceptable and abuse and neglect that isn’t?

Bless this little girl’s soul now, for her torment has finally ended.  We will never know if she would have forgiven her mother of her own accord or if she was pressured to do it…of it she cut off all ties.  The blessing here is that she won’t be raped anymore and used by a useless woman for monetary gains.  Her suffering has ended, which may be for the best in the long run.

Rest in Peace little one.

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4 Comments

Filed under Abuse, Family, Life, Neglect, Women

4 responses to “Is Blood Thicker?

  1. kids really can survive on little things…the material stuff is much less important than the emotional stuff.

    this story is so very sad…and yes i totally agree that blood is not thicker than water. i always told my kids, during times of being judged by other family members, that we/they should take support from who ever…friends, neighbors, teachers.

    your family is what you are born with, it does not have to rule who you will become over your life.

  2. Yes my parents were good parents. Of course when I was a teen I thought they were bad because they insisted on being involved in my life. Oh, yeah there was that thing about rules.

  3. This entire story is very sad. I’m sure the Dad now regrets his decision.

    I want to respond to your comment that you don’t owe your parents anything for deciding to bring you into this world. I like what my parents have always told me that the only thing I owed them was to make the most of the opportunities I’ve been given and to do something productive (of my choosing) with my life. Further, they hoped I would always include them in my life.

    • See, those are good parents. I know of soo many people though that have been abused in one way or another by their parents, but now that they are adults they feel obligated to take care of them in some way or keep contact (and therefore some of the abuse) with the parents JUST because they are parents. Some people even use the old “well they did give you life” guild trip. And of course, this in turn causes the cycle of abuse to continue.

      Now, if you decide on your own accord to forgive your parents for whatever you suffered, that is something else. This is something only you can decide…I just don’t want people thinking that they don’t have a choice.

      And I soo feel sorry for that dad. My heart just breaks for him because I am sure he thought he was doing a good thing by his daughter.