Don’t Mind Me…I am just here.

I was really depressed yesterday.  It just hit me out of the blue.  Not sure why though I know it is tied to my period being more than a week early.  I walked around all day lamenting not having any close friends and it really got me down.

Which is strange because the times when I am not depressed…I am fine with it.  DH, Podling, Babyhead and the one or two friends I do have are plenty for me and I am content if not happy.  I am not sure where all this comes from sometimes.

I have always been a bit of a loner.  Always more than happy to spend time by myself with the occasional friend to talk to now and again.  I never really held the same ideals or wants that other women had so all I could really stand was occasional contact anyway.  I don’t care about fashion or makeup or soap operas or any of that usual “woman” stuff.

I think that it what was bothering me yesterday.  I really have no shared interests with most people and a few that I do share interests with…well…they tend to annoy me.  For some reason a good number of gamer chicks are just that…female versions of their counterparts.  Annoying and dorky and have no other interests outside their games.

That isn’t to say that I don’t have people that I consider friends that I talk to on a regular basis.  I do.  And they don’t annoy me.  And we have enough in common to forgo boring each other with the things we don’t have in common.

My Dr H keeps telling me I need to make friends.  Well, it isn’t that easy for me.  I have no way to really get out of the house at any given time though I have tried to make friends here in the apartments.  I have joined message boards in hopes of gaining friends, but that only lasts for a while…

I guess I will let this post just peeter out now since most of what is in my mind is gone…maybe I will revisit it another day.



Filed under Depression, Life, Women

6 responses to “Don’t Mind Me…I am just here.

  1. I don’t do gaming, but only because I majorly suck at it. LOL

    I’m WAY over the girlie stuff at my age, though. I have been doing my hair and putting on makeup for so many years that I could literally do it with both eyes closed. I only wear classic clothing or jeans, and don’t keep up with fashion trends, so even that isn’t something which particularly interests me.

    Come to think of it, the most girlie thing I ever do is watch some reality shows on television. I do watch Real Housewives of New Jersey and Atlanta, for example, but the Real Housewives of New York and Orange County annoy the living daylights out of me because they’re WAY too girly for my taste.

    I also understand not being able to make friends because you are so busy. Even though I have always worked, when Elf was growing up (and I was your age) all my time not spent at work was spent with my son and late husband, with very few exceptions.

    I guess I’m saying, I feel your pain. I have never fit in with other females, never will, and I guess I finally came to terms with that reality at some point without consciously realizing it. I do recall feeling the way you feel when I was younger, though. There was definitely a time in my life when I longed for the company of other women, even knowing they’d just annoy me, so I suspect what you are feeling is natural and normal.

    • If it wasn’t for church I probably wouldn’t have many friends here. Although the strange thing is that I have more friends here than I did back home.

  2. I used to play shooter games. I don’t any more. Mostly because the ones The Big Guy has give me headaches.

  3. Thanks for posting guys. It really means a lot!

    Tracy…I talk about my kids a lot…but I get tired of that after a while especially if the other person seems to be getting into some kind of contest with their kids.

    Dee…I deal with stress by playing violent video games. LOL When I have a bad day I usually start up Left 4 Dead and proceed to shoot zombies until my heart is content. A lot of people find that strange too since I usually don’t play a lot of “girlie” games…I am all for the shooters!

  4. I’m not really into the girly stuff either. One time I was at a women’s retreat at church the topic was ways of dealing with stress. We had to go around the circle and say how we dealt with stress. The others said things like cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc. My answer to conquer the world, blow up things or listen to rock music. I got a lot of strange looks.

    I am content with my handful of friends. I think church really helped me to connect after we relocated to another state.

  5. it hits us all at some point…sending a big hug from another woman who couldn’t care less about make up, fashion or other girlie stuff….but i can talk about cooking, kids, politics, pointless trivia all day!!