My 33rd bday was yesterday. It went really well with the ILs watching the kids while DH and I puttered around doing whatever came to mind. We went to one mall to look for Mr. Bulky (a candy store) only to find it was gone!
Heartbroken, we left and as we were driving past another mall I saw a sign that a camera store was going out of business. With up to a 50% discount we decided to head in and take a look. We couldn’t buy much, but we were mainly looking for a bag anyway. Sure enough, I was able to get a new bag for my new Nikon for $30 (instead of the $50 it was marked as!)!
Then we had to Olive Garden and have a great meal. I had my usual fettuccine alfredo with chicken and broccoli…I must be getting old because I am becoming a real fan of broccoli! After that we went mini golfing and got some ice cream.
While this sounds like a great day, and it was for the most part, the part that wasn’t so great was my mother calling to wish me a happy birthday on my answering machine. I can understand if you would be confused, so I will elaborate.
My mother hasn’t wished me a happy birthday since I was sixteen years old. That is 17 years of no happy birthdays from my own mother. No calls, no cards, nothing. It seems like I should be happy, but I am not simply because she never does anything out of just plain kindness. My first thought was why the hell was she calling me to wish me a happy birthday when first off I haven’t spoken to her in 3 years and second she hasn’t wished me a happy birthday in 17 years.
Yea, maybe she is feeling bad for telling lies about me. Maybe she is feeling the loss of not having contact with her grandkids. However, just the thought of talking to her just makes me frustrated and tense. Now, if she had left a message apologizing…maybe that would be different. But she didn’t.
I did talk to my therapist about the level of communication I have with my mother (which is none) and even about confronting my mother about her behavior. One of the first things she said was do what I was comfortable with and what did I hope to accoplish if I did confront her?
Of course what I would WANT to happen is her apologize for telling lies about me and trying to bully me into doing what she wanted me to do. I would also WANT her to change so we could have a decent mother daughter relationship. However, another question my therapist asked is do I think those things would happen?
No, I don’t.
Which leaves me with a pretty good birthday that could have been better had she just not called at all.