There’s No Going Back

So, I have been on Facebook and MySpace a lot lately.  I have managed to reconnect with a lot of old friends and family.  I have to say though, I have many thoughts on seeing people now that I haven’t seen in over 10 years or longer.  I have a hard time viewing the people I knew as kids as adults. To think of them with kids older than my own…that just bothers me sometimes!

I guess it is a normal human thing for someone to move out of the home place and in the world and expect to come back to what it was like before…then experience a kind of culture shock. I get that every time I go home anyway. There is always a new shopping center or a beloved hangout is closed or bulldozed.

I have been out on my own for 15 years, the last 10 have been up North. I still view myself as a kid sometimes, I sure as hell don’t feel like I am about to turn 33! So it is hard for me to view my classmates and childhood friends as adults with children on the brink of teen-hood (is that even a word? LOL).

Even though my childhood was far less than perfect, my high school years were some of the best of my life. When I go Home I want it to stay the way I remember it, even though I know it isn’t and it makes me sad. I want to be able to walk the halls of my school and see my old teachers, but many of them aren’t there anymore, some of them have even passed away.

Just makes me nostalgic for the old days. The days when as a kid you never really had any responsibility other than doing your school work and keeping your room clean. After all these years of being an adult and mommy…it would be nice to go back and just relax for a while and not worry so much over this that or the other, but I can’t.

Even if I could go back to the way it was, I would only want to visit. I love my life now, though sometimes it can be stressful…but I do miss the old school days too.


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