I have decided. I don’t want a funeral. Being at Chuch’s viewing just made me realize that I don’t want a bunch of people standing around all somber and depressed. Even if I die *young* I don’t want that. I would rather peopel be happy and remembering the good times and celebrating my life, than afraid to say anyting other than, “I am sorry, we will miss her” for fear of insulting someone.
Funerals are for the living…but I still don’t want one when I am dead.
At Chuch’s viewing (because with 2 children I didn’t want to take a chance of going ot the funeral…any baby sitter we would have would have been there as well) my BIL’s wife was cracking jokes about something, I think about DH (they have some kind of rivalry) and then she all of a sudden got real serious and said she shouldn’t be doing that at a funeral. Why not? Chuch wouldn’t have minded I am sure. Maybe someone thought it may be inappropriate…but why is it? Because we *shoudl be mourning?*. Screw that. Chuch was a wonderful woman. I would like to think that she would rather us be happy at her funeral and celebrating her LIFE and not crying and depressed. It is one thing to miss someone because they are no longer with us, but it is something different to sit around and cry about it all day for a few days.
Now, I am not saying that if her kids where there and genuinly mouring their mother, then that is different. You want to be there to support the family…but there wasn’t one person there that was distraught. Not one. They were sad, of course. But they were also talking about how much Chuch loved the visits with Babyhead and how close they had gotten…they were remembering her LIFE…not crying over her death.
And that is what I want. I want people to be able to crack jokes at my funeral. I want people to be able to wear yellow and red instead of black and brown. I want them to remember me as I lived, not as I died. To miss me, but not to mourn.
That would be good.