I have to say I didn’t agonize over raising my son as much as I am over raising my daughter. I am just terrified that what I try to teach and instill in her is going to be railroaded by the what the world wants her to think and become.
What I want for my daughter is strength, determination and a positive sense of self and high self esteem. I want her to grow up actually THINKING and KNOWING she can do anything in this world she wants to do from being an astronaut or the president to a hometown farm-girl is she so chose.
I don’t want her to worry about her weight or if she can eat a piece of chocolate cake in the morning or if she is eating “too many carbs”. I don’t want her to worry if her nose is too big or boobs are too small or her thighs too fat or thin. I don’t want her to worry that her hair is too straight or curly or if her eye are the wrong shade of color.
I want her to be strong enough to not attract loser men who may abuse her in ANY way and if a man tries then she is strong enough in body and spirit to at least put up a good fight. I want her to be able to take up for herself and others when she feels an injustice has been done.
I look at her and I see so much potential. I see a girl that has come from a long line of strong and independent women who made their way across a vast ocean to find a better life. Who came here to scrape a living for their families leaving behind a famine induced country for the fertile fields of America.
But… I also see how the world will want to change her, to make her feel inferior to others, worthless to many and fat and ugly no matter what she looks like. There are those in the world that want women cowed and submissive and ignorant. They will tell her what she should be with varying intentions.
They will tell her lies and try to take her money and her pride and tell her she is ugly and stupid all so they can feel better about themselves. They will try their damnedest to take her spirit…the spirit I hope to nurture in her…the spirit I lacked for myself for so long. Many other women have fallen for the lies before her and many will fall for them after. I was one of them.
That is what scares me the most.
I can only hope she will learn from me and the lessons life has taught me and not make the same mistakes.