When the husband leaves and the sun starts to shine in the windows, Babyhead comes into my bed to snuggle. This is one of the best times of the day for me. I have the TV set to come on in my room for a certain time every morning and Babyhead will watch his shows until I can wake up…then he will look at me with big brown eyes and the sweetest smile and say, “You wakin up mommy?”. It always follows with a big morning hug and kiss, maybe even a pat on my head.
On the weekends of course DH is with me. Our full size bed is barely big enough for all 3 of us much less me being very pregnant, but Babyhead comes in anyway and sits on the bed and watches TV until we are awake. Many times DH gets annoyed because Babyhead can be a wiggle worm, and I always have to remind him that one day we won’t have this time. One day we will wake up and it will just be us…while I welcome the time when it can be just us, I will still miss my snuggle time with Babyhead.
I am trying to get in all the snuggle time I can now days with Babyhead. I am not sure how it will work when Pebbles gets here…I have this fear that somehow I will leave her out of the snuggle time and not realize it or that Babyhead will miss the snuggle time with Mommy that we have shared for 3.5 years.
How am I going to raise 2 children? How can I not favor one over the other? Do I have enough time to split between two children, a husband, and myself? I feel like someone somewhere is going to get left out or feel neglected…
I love my son, my husband, and my daughter yet to be born…but I am unsure how this new dynamic is going to work out. I just keep telling myself that others have done it before me, and will do it after me…and just have to have faith that I am a strong enough woman to be able to do what is needed.
That is all I can do.