I love being here. I really do. The North is so much different than the South. You don’t have to worry about some dumbass racist making comments in front of your children or religious freaks terrorizing you or your family because you don’t go to their church. The tolerance is just more here. That isn’t to say there isn’t religious freaks or racists…but they aren’t as prevelant here or at the very least as outspoken.
With that said I really miss being home in Tennessee. Just looking at the word Tennessee makes me want to cry. I know, that sounds bad and sappy but it is true. I don’t have anyone up here but my husband and his family. I had some friends for a while but they weren’t true friends and didn’t stick around for longer than 2 years. I am pretty much alone up here. Yea, I have my ILs…but it isn’t the same as having your own family and friends.
I also miss the land. The land is different there than it is here. It looks different, smells differnt, sounds different, feels different. I miss waking up on a summer morning and seeing the dew fog cover the fields and hearing and hearing the katydids out in the woods. I miss sitting out in the country on the porch swing in the summer heat just swinging. I miss seeing the stars at night on a pitch black velvet sky. You don’t get to see the stars where we are at now…too much light pollution. It always looks as if dawn is about to break.
I miss hearing the old folks talk. That sounds funny and odd, but it is true. Just the way they talk I miss. The words they use. Everything is slower there. Everyone here is in a rush to get somewhere and do something.
I tried to tell my husband this. I don’t think he understood my need to go back home for a visit. We aren’t in a position to do so since he changed jobs. He won’t have any time to take until late November. This past August it has been a year since I have been Home. I can feel it too.
I miss it.