Will you PLEASE listen to what I am saying?

To all my friends, in RL and on the internet:

At the risk of offending you all and p*ssing you all off….

I am NOT a Christian. I am NOT interested in being forwarded “amazing miracle pictures” of the proof of God’s existence which actually were most likely Photoshoped anyway, otherwise it would have made the news. I am not interested in signing my name to a prayer chain letter to heal a sick child that never existed. I have already seen the angel email more than once that tells me to send it to X many friends to have a wish come true…I sent it to all my friends once, maybe twice before and my wish did not, in fact, come true. Either the Angel doesn’t exist or is pissed because I am a Buddhist…either way, it doesn’t work. I don’t care about Jesus’ or Mary’s likeness showing up in french toast, grilled cheese, or potato chips. It isn’t a miracle to me, just a weird random coincidence that someone sees a pattern in melted butter and pancake syrup.

I am also not interested in sending along to all my friends’ the same hoax about cookie recipes or dying children. Many of those emails are either not true, or outdated as the kid either died or is living a healthy life as an adult. There is no real way to track emails that are forwarded either, unless it eventually gets sent back to the original recipient…which they almost never do as the email address is usually bogus…and if not, then again that email is outdated. Old Navy, Macy’s, or any other department store or restaurant isn’t going to give you a discount or free items or coupons just by forwarding an email…they may do that if you give them your email so they can sell it to spammers, however.

Just in case you never realized, the above scenarios are an easy way to pass on computer viruses to all your friends. The crooks count on helpless computer illiterate people to do their work for them by making chain letters. Best case scenerio it will lock up your computer or email because you have received too many. Please…don’t send that stuff to me…just hit delete. Delete is your friend.

Also, for the love of all that is holy use BCC (blind carbon copy) and do NOT hit REPLY ALL unless you are replying to a family email about showing up for a family function (or something similar). I don’t know everyone you know and I don’t know everyone your friends know and on more than one occasion I have actually been spammed by fowarded emails from people I have never heard of because my email was on the TO list somewhere. If you use BCC it hides everyone’s email addresses so people who don’t want their email known to complete strangers won’t have their names added to the forward list of 20 people they never even knew existed in the world.

Also, please don’t ONLY forward me crap. Take a few minutes to actually write me an email. It doesn’t have to be long, just a “HI howyadoin…we are fine” kinda email. I want to know how YOU are, not worry over chain letters.

Thanks!

Me

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Dear Customer Service/Tech Support,

I have had a prepaid phone with you for the past few years and have been happy with it so far. Because of our satisfaction with the phone, I had decided to purchase a second phone for my husband for Father’s Day that he can use for his main number to his martial arts classes he teaches. I was also happy to see that, at any time, we could change from a prepaid minute by minute plan to a monthly plan should he get more calls than we anticipate.

However, I wrote you about having an issue with your website, specifically ordering the phone for my husband. I wrote that there was an error on the website that made it impossible to complete my transaction to purchase the phone. I even gave you the error that showed up on my screen and what I did to get said error. It obviously was some kind of coding issue that needs to be resolved.

In return you said that you were sorry I was having issues, but that I could call a number and order the phone, or go to your website and order it. Somehow I think you didn’t read the entire email or you didn’t pay attention to the template email you sent me telling me I can order the phone online or you would know that I could not, in fact, order the phone off of your website because of this error. Now, I realize that you are probably very busy and not in charge of coding the website, but could you at least take the time to review my email before sending me a response?

Again, we have been happy with the service (so far) your company has given us with our original phone and I still intend on buying the other phone at an actual store. However, in the interest of good customer service I suggest you review how you deal with questions and complaints…at the very least have someone actually read the emails customers send you and send out and appropriate response.

Thank you and have a nice day.

Me